hard rock story; tragedy or comedy, when the memory of life flashes in our minds

"You know, I've been thinking. Everything is... just comes together. It's me. I chose this. I chose all this. This rock... this rock has been waiting for me my entire life. It's entire life, ever since it was a bit of meteorite a million, billion years ago. In space. It's been waiting, to come here. Right, right here. I've been moving towards it my entire life. The minute I was born, every breath that I've taken, every action has been leading me to this crack on the out surface"

a quote from the Academy Award nominated movie, 127 Hours. Not sure if it was in the autobiography it was based on, but in the movie it is one of the memorable scene other than the Super Mario get gold coin sound effect. u can listen to the sound before u watch the movie, in fact i would recommend it because u will notice where it was used. but if u dont want spoiler, dont go beyond

blame it on my perverse sadism, appetite for blood or the emotional capacity of men(a teaspoon?) but i cannot stop laughing at that scene.

now back to the quote. in that scene, the protagonist's life flashes through his mind as he approached probably the metaphorical end of his life(?) and surely the end of the movie and his ordeal. at this moment he finally accepted the reality and that it was caused by his own actions, and so it was up to him to get out of it. in less poetic words of Aron Ralston himself in a 2003 interview;

How did you finally decide to start cutting? “After having enough sleepdeprived, meandering thoughts about how I arrived in the canyon, I realized that [my situation] was the result of decisions that I had made. I chose to go out there by myself. I chose to not tell anyone where I was going. I chose not to go with [two climbers] I had met in the canyon [on the first day].But I also realized that I had made all of the choices up to that point that had helped me survive. I took responsibility for all of my decisions, which helped me take on the responsibility of getting myself out.”

but ultimately what make him cut his hand when he did was a vision of a one-armed man scooping up a 3 years old child in a living room. the live he was yet to live and the possibility of the future. in the movie it was mentioned that his premonition came true, but the vision that he saw scene was a bit confusing and does not really show him(it is James Franco playing with the child) were amputated. so i missed it at first.

he is an inspirational courageous person. now we move on from the movie but not without a few more remarks. the movie makes canyoneering looks like a very good way to spend a weekend, minus the boulder crushing the forearm of course. n if i ever go on a serious hike, remind me to bring my scalpel. maybe a small hammer would be a good idea.

now to the tragedy or comedy part. i wondered if my life ever flashes through my mind, what would it be?

for those who do not know the differences between a tragedy or comedy, a comedy ends with the protagonist(s) getting hitched and live happily ever after (e.g A Midsummer's Night Dream), while tragedy is where the protagonist(s) die happily or die miserably(e.g Romeo and Juliet).

i want it to be a comedy as i want to get a family but most probably it will be a tragedy. most tragedy are more preferable to be called an art masterpiece anyway. another reason is that i always figured that my lifetime is either die young or live forever.

actually i do not really care about my story anyway. never were really a protagonist material. i am too chaotic(unpredictable) and morally ambiguously to be an effective protagonist. what i am is the scene stealing antagonist/supporting character/villain/lover that serves as a plot point in ur life storieS. note the 's'. it is in plural form. as in many life storieS. so i'll be in both tragedies and comedies not to mention every alternative sub-genres ever existed.

for example, in the aforementioned movie i will be the young woman's boobs (.)(.) in the recording when he paused and tried to... but then did not... talking about sailors in the sea situation. to his defense maybe he just want to recycle some edible protein he knew he could produce. i wonder if the real Aron Ralston really did that? or maybe the other scene stealer, the super mario brothers coin sound effect.

yes i am saying that i will be a scene stealer in ur own storieS. yours, yours, yours and maybe yours. not u, ur life is too boring. for those interesting people who are lucky enough to get even remotely acquainted with me, i am so sorry for stealing the spotlight in ur own 'flashing memories' before u die moment. i know u cant blame me cause u just cant help it, it is ur memory not mine.

Mr. Bunbury

An introduction to Mr. Bunbury to the less literate people; in the play 'The Importance of Being Ernest' by Oscar Wilde, he is an invalid friend of Algernon who haves an extraordinary bad health and conveniently gets sicks and require Algernon's company when the latter have some business to be avoided. Not surprising considering the facts that Mr. Bunbury did not exist in real life and merely an invention by Algernon.

Also in the play, Algernon defines Bunburyist as people who had made up a fictional character of their care so that they can easily get out of a commitment or responsibilities. It is a type of con.

I am a master of Bunburyist myself, trained by the days i answered the home phone when some trivial person wants to talk to my mom, who happens to be a master Bunburyist herself and my mentor in the art. At first detailed back-story was needed to be briefed but over time, i learned to made something up as i go without really needing any preparation.

Artful dodging especially by mere conversation have been a fascination for me. The reason why i like watching lawyer shows and why i think i am more suited in being a lawyer than what i am set to be now. Throwing smoke screens with words, buying time before some real substance and strategy materialize.

i noticed that i developed a manner of conversation which are somewhat vague and ambiguous and which are open to the the interpretation of others without committing to one or the other. in most cases the opponent would assume that i actually agree with him/her. but it is a double edged sword, especially during some oral test cause i cant seem to get straight to the point(it does not applies to an interview where character and communication skill are tested instead of key points).

For the later part of this post, i would further simplify the use of Bunbury as a verb to describe avoiding responsibilities and commitment in a device to tell my story today.

I have been Bunburying the whole day and as i typed the letters of this post i was supposed to be studying for exam, even more so because i made a mano-a-mano battle out of it. if i do lose(which would be my own laziness fault) the eardrums of mine and the approximate in radius 10m will vibrates profusely causing enough heat to cause physical damage, severe pain and the lost of their elasticity thus our hearing.

before this post was in motion, i was just finished reading the play aforementioned earlier. subsequently, literature become a subject of a skype conversation which were the actual immediate incident before this blog post.

the love for literature is disregarded during college. i do reads some literature now n then but there is no intellectual discussion about the subject afterwards. It is such a shame for my critics, interpretation and thoughts which are plentiful to remain unheard.

Certain other obligations like studies etc and a number of variable and trivial distractions limits the time to actually read. i have to Bunbury through a 3 act play. (please ignore the fact that if i did not Bunbury for the distractions i would have finished the whole anthology).

in high school i am always excited for english period especially if the teacher is teaching literature for the day. i would contribute the most in those discussion. we miss those days thus the idea for a book club transpires. where we would commit(to one book) and have deep meaningful conversation(about the book).

in an alternate reality, i am an English major student in one of the Ivy League, most probably in same lectures as Emma Watson, lying on the parks ground reading my assignment when someone approaches....

breeze

breezin' all the way thru

no hassle

proximity

icarus flew high

with the wings he had given

the warning that cometh with

are all but forgotten

the sun

bright and warm

great mass, great gravity

helplessly pulling the intrigued

just so when in proximity

the reality kicks in

the sun's fault surfaces

wild untamed fickle unpredictable

kills the subject in question

its not the sun deed

yet the sun knows its fault

it is true indeed

it is lonely at the top

the sun wants company

but knows not how to be in

thus it let a lie publicly known

as daedalus told

the sun's hostility

even then

the gravitation too strong

more so on those

who possesses great gravity of their own

he could have flew far

with the wings he has been given

but to the sun he reaches out

eager to be the lonesome star's

the solitary heart fickled

as hope and despair variably felt

the optimist and realist take their turn

only jealousy persisted

to see the courage to be in pursuit

rather than awaits n avoid pursuit

as it watches the distance disappears

'he could be the one, no ones ever come as close'

and thus hope is high, it shines too bright

causing them to be apart

that brief sweet moment they shared

always be in the sun's memory

along with the others who tried and died

and all the sad goodbyes

the lonely sun

awaits for courageous others

to once again be pursuit

shining with hope

there will be the one

yet, contempt with

eternal loneliness

in that, he wonders

the deeds

the life the departed would have

if they chose to resist that gravity

and just stay away

cause safety can be found in distance

*this poem that does not rhyme deals with choice between desire and responsibilities when such talent and/or rare opportunities are given. also choice between living the conventional safe life, or pursuit the dreams of the risky road less traveled. love, hope, contempt and commitment phobia are also shown in personification of the sun. icarus feelings are left in question except for his love to the sun, what he feels about his tragic death are left unknown whether he regret it or happy about it. and what would happen when he is still alive, would he be living with regret?

p/s: At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet -plato-