cosmic love

cosmic love is a song sang by florence and the machine. i like the singer; her energy n voice especially in the song "drumming song". not to mention her fiery red hair. but thats not the point of this post.

there must be something going on in the cosmos this week. maybe mars and venus aligns because it seemed like love is in people mind.

my friends

a number of my girlfriends(ladyfriend/girl friends) actually talked/chatted/messaged to me something about love. most talk about old crushes, some about future partners and even marriage. note: all of them are single.

are they desperate? no. yes. maybe. i dont know.

what i know is all of them are appealed to the idea of a relationship/marriage. n for some of them the clock is ticking. all of them are studying for mbbs/bds which take a lot of time, and by the time they finished the course, they could be categorized as old spinster in the malay culture
which is a bit insignificant in the 21st century but nevertheless their oocyte number is still counting down.

yes, i am going to make them seem desperate in this post even though they are actually not. perhaps i may make them truly desperate if they read this post

like i said they are in love in this idea of marriage/relationship as do i. who would not? having a significant other to support you through exams and tests and every challenges n boundaries u come across. to listen to your problems. who u can talk about everything from crap to something really deep from your heart; ur dreams, desire and hope for the future. where u can really truly be yourself around and not be afraid that u will be judged. to hold u in the night while u sleep. yes, it is not only about the sex.

but the sad part is they dont have ANY suitable candidates. some of them have long time crushes but crushes just crush the hearts. the longer u have crush on that person, the more u stalk them, the more ugliness on his side is revealed. being a guy i could easily move to other crush when that happens(fickleness of men) but for the girls, it is harder because a lot more emotion were put into that stalking.

some are looking for candidates and asked me for suggestions. and i feels sorry for them. not because they seem desperate or something, but because they have to find a GUY as a spouse. n that is sad because there are just not many decent guys around that deserves them. most of them never dated before, but for the ones that had, their exes definitely do not deserve them n i was quite happy when the relationship was over. maybe it is just overprotectiveness n may also be jealousy.

there are reasons to be jealous n overprotective towards them. they are EXTRAORDINARY people. perhaps if they find a good enough partner, i will be happy to let them go. n as for now, the only guys i see as worthy for them are our seniors(the girls see to see that fact too). but sadly most of them are taken(to the disappointment of the girls).

me

a few days before, a friend asked me 'have u ever truly loves someone?'

i tell him no. but i do have crushes. but crushes are curiosity based and as i knew the subject better, the feeling is gone.

he responded 'i know why u never did, u love myself too much.'

it is so true n he noticed it just by knowing me for 1 month.

to be honest, i do not think that i am a relationship type of guy as i go in and out of crushes very fast n sometimes i have multiple crushes at once which indicates my loyalty level are very incompatible for an exclusive relationship.

but i do know the person for me is out there. i imagine i can be in a relationship with a strong willed n determined woman who can keep me loyal n keep me on a tight leash(i am a masochist). who is random enough to keep me guessing n interested. who when i know more about her the feeling get stronger. who i can talk or just sit with for hours. smart girl who could debate with me on multiple topics even when it goes over the top n completely irrelevant to the original topic. able to withstand n even match or surpasses my wit, evilness n cruelty. girl who reminds me of me. and a good dancer.

sound like i am describing someone? the ambiguity of social networking. u will never know if i am serious or not.